Welcome???

I'm at work. This is a constant theme in my life, as you will probably find out if you can bear to follow up and read future posts. I'm not special. I don't do extraordinary things. I never went to college. I don't have my own business. the point is, I'm just a barely average guy. I have 2 kids. I'm not married... actually I'm still legally married, but we have been seperated for about 3 years now so to me it doesn't count. Really we were very close to being divorced, and then she had a kid which complicated things. Not my child, mind you, but a child all the same. Court decides things aren't as black and white as that, but that is a story for another day... maybe. Anyway, I live with my brother. Probably the safest thing for a guy like myself, because I end up falling in love really easily (sad stories all of em) and get my world destroyed with just as much ease. As much as it hurts, I always end up going back. I guess I'm a romantic retard. Not bashing on myself, just calling what I see... Anyway, I live with my brother. I have lived a lot of places though. This will probably be my arrangement for a while though. It's good and safe. Bro's not gonna dump me. Shoulda thought of this a long time ago. I have several siblings. Older brother that died about a decade ago. Older sister. Younger brother. Younger sister. Not a huge family, but not small by any means. I have 2 kids. My eldest is my daughter. She's the apple of my eye so-to-speak. I love that little girl, but I don't get to see her much anymore. Her mom is not the easiest woman to deal with, and often decides I can not see my baby. It's her wicked wicked right, granted by the wonderful state of KS. Thanks for that. My other is my son, who I DO get to see often. His mom can't wait to dump him off half the time, and neither can I. The boy and I have a lot of fun together. The girl, the boy, and I have much much MORE fun, but we only get that every once in a while.

I'm single, not by design, but single nonetheless. I was ready to re-marry after i got the divorce, but now not so much. I think single is the best way for me to keep my head on straight, and my eye on the prize. I admit that I'm not sure what this supposed prize is, but surely if I need to keep my eye on it then it must be worth something. In all honesty though, I loved that woman and still do. It's not easy to fall out of the pool once you are in, ya know. You have to force yourself to get out. I was very deeply in love, and that feeling filled me such happiness and such comfort... and then gone? Like swimming and the pool is suddenly empty. That sucks. What else can I say. I don't hate her for falling out of love. She didn't cheat on me, or act scandalous about anything. We weren't working out and that happens... right? I mean it doesn't make it any easier but maybe it will still be ok. I hope so. Life's too short to hurt all the time. It's too short to be mad about everything. It's just too short.

Like I said though, I'm at work. I should probably maybe do some work. This job thing is like my bread and butter... literally. So I will try to post again soon. I hope some people read this. If not, that's ok. It's actually for me anyway, just open for all to read. Enjoy or don't.